if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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