I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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