At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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