I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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