i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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