He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
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God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
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So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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