You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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