it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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