Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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