I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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