sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
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His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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