seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
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He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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