I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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