cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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