So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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