I looked at my own cervix.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
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blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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