Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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