so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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