i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize