I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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