I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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