these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize