Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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