Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize