Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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