i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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