i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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