We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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