You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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