it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Farmville is her only friend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I need a beard to bite.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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