I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think a kid would responsible me up
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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