Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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