I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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