I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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