I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize