it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize