Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize