I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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