shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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