I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
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when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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