the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
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It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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