oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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