listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize