i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize