all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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