lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize