Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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