Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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