am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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