I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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